


What do I do?

by Jessi_aka_pyro



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/M, Gen, I might add more to this later, also ive only ever written caleb before so, also supportive caleb and nott because they fuel my hope for humanity, but as of right now, i hope yall like my attempt at my goblin child, idk - Freeform, its at a good stopping point, nott centric, she needs more fics, some good nott and yeza because im hurting, spoilers for episode 48 and 49
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-07 08:43:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17957303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jessi_aka_pyro/pseuds/Jessi_aka_pyro
Summary: '“I….” she rasped. “I know where your wife is,” is how she finished.“Where? Please please tell me. That’s all I want to know,” he tried, looking more at Caleb’s chest than at her."She uhm. I think we have a lot to talk about."'A hopeful reunion for our two favorite shorties. Trying to keep the summary spoiler free. Those who choose to read this, I hope you like it :) Expect nervous characters and lots of support and explanations.DO NOT READ IF YOU'RE NOT UP TO EPISODE 49 PLEASE. (unless spoilers do not bother you lol)





	What do I do?

“Are you- are you all with the woman who has been speaking to me? With my wife?”  
  
Nott’s heart clenched in her bruised and beaten chest. She looked across the equally bruised and bloodied faces of her friends. Mostly a mixture of relief from the battle’s end and surprise, as they realized who was addressing them. Jester was the first to approach, easily making her way over the door Beau had kicked in just seconds ago.  
  
Nott was hardly paying attention to her grace however, unable to look away from her kidnapped husband for longer than a second.  
  
“Yeah! Hi! I’m Jester! Let’s get you out of those ropes, okay?”  
  
He nodded, leaning forward to make it easier. Nott was frozen just behind the group as they filed in.  
  
“Do you know where Veth is? Is she okay?”  
  
Nott felt a heavy hand on her shoulder. In almost a daze, she looked up, meeting sad blue eyes she’d come to trust more than she could really comprehend.  
  
“Are you alright, _spatz_ ?”  
  
She nodded, something leaving her mouth, but instead she was listening to the conversation happening across the room.  
  
“Oh yes! She’s very well! Veth is a-okay! In fact she helped us rescue you! She’s very impressive, your Veth. We call her Nott, though. She’s one of my best friends, ya know. She should be here any second.”  
  
“Yeah where is Nott,” Beau added in a rough voice. Nott remembered her screaming a lot during the battle. Nott couldn’t explain it, but she took a step back from the door, just out of site. Caleb frowned, following.  
  
In a hushed voice, he asked, “Nott? Are you… don’t you want to go see him? We came all this way to rescue him.”  
  
“I-“ she started but her throat closed up. Instead she could see herself a few years ago. A husband and a son. Happy. Until they were not. And she was drowned. And then then she was _Nott_ . How would he react? Would he attack her on site? Would he run away screaming?  
  
She wasn’t aware her eyes were wet until Caleb was crouching in front of her, his usually down trodden face filled with concern. “Nott? Can you understand me? Are you still there?”  
  
Shaking her head, she sniffed. And then nodded weakly. “Y-yes. I’m… I’m here I just. Caleb, he can’t-,” She couldn’t seem to get words out. She could hear them talking still, in the room. He was asking where she was. Her friends were holding him back, a few probably figuring out why she wasn’t in there. Figuring out why she was so scared to face him.  
  
Caleb, sweet Caleb. He seemed to understand. He always knew what she was trying to say when she couldn’t speak. Brushing hair behind her ear, he nodded, eyes casted down in a false sense of privacy in her state of vulnerability. A futile effort, but one she appreciated nonetheless.  
  
“That is okay, _meine freundin_ . I can go tell him you took off and you can follow us back. Or you could disguise yourself if your appearance is the problem. Or you can pretend not to be you at all. We could call you by a different name.”  
  
She was out of spell slots actually. But she knew that Caleb would just offer up one of his own, but it didn’t really matter as those kinds of spells were limited and it was going to take more than an hour to get back. Of course she could always go with the third option and pretend to be someone else. After all, she had plenty of experience in that department.  
  
But… as scared as she was. He deserved to know. She knew she was hard to look at. She knew she wasn’t the woman he married, wasn’t the woman he remembered. She was Not Pretty. Not Smart. Not… Not Veth. She was just Nott. And no matter how many times she wished to be Veth again, she knew she couldn’t be. And whether it was today or tomorrow or in a month, Yeza deserved to know. Caleb was here with her, patiently waiting for her decision. The best friend she could ever ask for. He was hurt. Cad or Jester could be healing him right now, but instead he’d chosen to wait with her. Nott looked up at him.  
  
She opened her mouth. It closed on its own. She _needed_ to tell him. But damnit, she didn’t want to see the fear on his face when he realizes his wife is what he’d believed had killed her! Caleb grabbed hold of her hand. She dug her claws into them without thinking. He only flinched a little, squeezing her fingers back.  
  
“Caleb?” She forced out in her crackly voice.  
  
“ _Ja_ ?” He replied, face still focused on her.  
  
She could hear Yeza losing patience with them. She couldn’t help the tiny smile that slipped out. He always was just _so_ stubborn.  
  
“What do I do?”  
  
His eyes softened in a way that told her they held no answers. “I uh. I cannot tell you that, Nott. But I will help you in any way that I can. Just tell me what you want me to do, okay?”  
  
“Hey uhh Caleb? Nott out there with you?”  
  
Caleb scowled, turning his head towards the door. “ _Etwas geduld, bitte_ ! We are busy.”  
  
Fjord grunted in response, his footsteps leaving the door way. Caleb turned back to Nott apologetically, still keeping hold of her smaller hands. “I’m afraid we don’t have much time to decide however.”  
  
Nott nodded, looking down. She shuffled her feet, casting her gaze to the doorway. “Do you think he’s going to be scared? Or what I am? Will he believe it’s actually me? She hated how weak she sounded in this moment.  
  
Caleb rubbed his thumbs against the backs of her hands. “Maybe? I do not know for sure. But if he’s worthy enough for you to love him the way you do, then I can only hope he’ll believe you once we explain.”  
  
“But- But I’m not… I don’t look like-“  
  
“I know,” he interrupted. “I know, you do not look how you used to look. But you still are her. You still love him. You still love your son. If he really truly loves you like you love him, then there’s a strong chance he’ll see beyond what you are now.”  
  
He cracked a small smile. “And if he doesn’t and hurts you, I’ll let Jester and Beau have a go at him.”  
  
Nott leveled a sharp glare at her friend. “You wouldn’t. He wouldn’t stand a chance against those two.”  
  
“As if I could actually stop them.”  
  
She felt a little of the pressure in her chest loosen. She knew he was right. And unless some other weird Halfling girl with an obsession with collecting came along while she was away, she knew somehow that he still loved Veth.  
  
She looked at her green skin. It still wasn’t fair to shock him, though.  
  
“Do you think… I’m out of spells. Do you think you could…?”  
  
“Like the girl you showed us, yes?”  
  
She nodded.  
  
Caleb nodded back. “Of course. It’ll only take me a moment. Is that what you want to do though? You’ll have to show him eventually.”  
  
Nott looked down, letting go of his hands to outplay her fingers. “I know. But I thought this might be easier to start with.”  
  
Caleb opened his mouth to respond, spell book already in his hand, but he was cut off by a sudden commotion in the room behind them. They could hear beau cursing and Cad gently saying something else as quick steps ran from the room.  
  
Nott screamed, raising her crossbow just as a little Halfling man shouted, raising his fists as he ran from the door towards them. Caleb swiftly picked up Nott by her waist, raising her up out of the man’s reach. Nott had already dropped her crossbow after realizing who it was. Instead her heart was pounding as she stared at him.  
  
“Woah, woah, heyy. Let’s calm down, _ja_ ?” He said to the man, who was now standing about a foot away, fists still at the ready.  
  
“I’ll calm down when that- _thing_ , is dead! Where is my wife!? And who are you? And why won’t those people tell me where she is!? Are you this Not person?”  
  
He was out of breath, probably from squeezing out from between Beau, Jester, Fjord, Yasha, and Caduceus. Said members followed quickly out of the door behind the Halfling, various shades to their faces.  
  
“Uhhh,” Caleb started, but Nott cut him off.  
  
“Caleb?” She asked, eyes averted. “Put me down, please.”  
  
All eyes moved over to her. “Are you sure?” He asked. She nodded in response, wearily looking at Yeza.  
  
With a deep breath, she lowered her crossbow slowly, still standing closer to Caleb. There was no way she could do this without his support. “Hi,” She said, waving a little as she stood back up. Yeza only glared.  
  
“I uh. I should probably-“  
  
“ _Where_ . Is my wife?” he asked again, making his voice sound more intimidating. Nott couldn’t help the way her lips curling into a smile. That only seemed to make him angrier however.  
  
“Is this funny!? You people said she was here! But instead you’re running with some Goblin!? This isn’t a joke!”  
  
Before he could continue on, Nott Shouted, “Hey!” stomping her foot hard on the ground. It echoed through the chamber. Caleb patted her shoulder. Yeza took a step back, still looking angry, but a small bit of fear was present as well.  
  
“I….” she said. “I know where your wife is,” is how she finished.  
  
“Where? Please _please_ tell me. That’s all I want to know,” he tried, looking more at Caleb’s chest than at her.  
  
“She uhm. I think we have a lot to talk about.”  
  
“Yeah, no _shit._ ”   
  
She couldn’t say it. Her lower lip shook as her fists pulled at the chains dangling from her waist.  
  
“Veth is-“  
  
“Yes? Veth is where?”  
  
Her eyes welled up. She could feel all of them staring. Yeza was _right_ there. Right in front of her. And oh _gods_ she missed him. Much more than she’d have previously thought possible. And yet she couldn’t answer what he was asking. Because Veth wasn’t here. Not really. She wasn’t Veth. She was Nott.  
  
She took a deep breath. She may not have known what to say, but she had a place to start.  
  
“Yeza,” she said with a false confidence. “I’ll… I’ll tell you where she is. But first. First I uhm. I need to tell you who _I_ am.”  
  
He stared at her.  
  
Oh gods how she missed that stare. It meant he was exasperated. Usually reserved for when she filled the cupboards with strings. Or when she stashed other people’s spoons in the old pickle jars.  
  
She sat down. “This could take a while.” She looked around at her friends, each with expressions a mix between nervous and proud. Caleb had never looked so proud of her before. He sat down next to her. Slowly, one by one, the others followed suit. Yeza rolled his eyes, and sat down as well.  
  
“One wrong move and I’m out, _goblin_ .”  
  
He said it with such detest, but that was alright. She said it that way too. He always was so smart. She smiled.  
  
“You can call me Nott, if you’d like. My name’s Nott the Brave. No comma. And I uhm. I _am_ a goblin. But…. I’m also not. I mean of course, I’m _Nott_ . But I mean that, I’m also not _a goblin_ .”  
  
He looked confused, but seemed to be nodding along. “Okay… Nott. You know my name already.”  
  
She nodded, picking at some string on her shirt ends. “These are my friends. We’re the Mighty Nein. Not the number nine, either. It’s Zemnian for No. So technically we’re the Mighty No. That’s a bit confusing as well I suppose. We’re kind of big on being confusing.”  
  
Running a hand through his hair, Yeza sighed. “Look, that’s great and all. But what does this have to do about Veth?”  
  
Nott bit her lip. She looked back up at him. This was going to be a long conversation indeed.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey uhhh I haven't written anything in like,, a year. Also this wasn't beta'd or even like, re-read through lmao. If there's mistakes or if anything is worded weird, lemme know :)


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